Inside the Mind: Albert Tanquero (on Forbe’s Chicago Diss)

When the Found founder Albert Tanquero learned that Forbes Magazine put the smack-down on Chicago (calling it the 3rd most miserable city to live in, possibly the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read in my entire life), he sent out an email response that I found to be quite delightful.  Naturally I asked if he’d mind making it a guest post, so read on to see what all the fuss is about.

A quick note before passing you off to Albert, I pulled all the photos in this piece from Albert’s Flickr set, Albert’s Eye, an amazing look at times past that somewhat surprisingly made me contemplate my own morality and get a bit choked up thinking about all these young kids who are gone now, who got old and died as we all will (if we’re lucky enough to grow old that is).  Seeing the photos really brings it home.  Happy Thursday!

Anyway, I seriously dig Albert’s photo set titles (Horny Sailors, Thy Family is Thy Strength and fire-fire-fire-911, for example).  Get in touch with him at tanquerochicago@gmail.com if you’re interested in putting together a REALLY cool and unique art installation.

Inside the Mind of Albert Tanquero

By Albert Tanquero

I just read that Forbes Magazine voted Chicago the 3rd most miserable city in the country and I am here to say, after spending a week in Orlando, that no we are not. Yes, it’s true that we have horrible weather for about 5 months out of the year and our politics are corrupt as hell but let me share a story with you.

I left for Orlando/Kissimee (another buying trip) last Wed. leaving from Midway on Air Tran(nie) at about 3:00 p.m. and I arrived in Orlando at 6:00. I was really excited to get out of Chicago’s cold and to go to about 5 large flea markets all over central Florida. When I get there it turned out that they are experiencing a cold streak with 45-55 degree weather.

I get to the airport, get in my car and drive off- only to experience the most challenging driving outside of NY. The people are totally nuts- lots of Euro’s salivating over Disney World, Epcot Hell, Wet + Wild, and every other fucking amusement park you could imagine. I get to my Best Western Hotel and there are 20 buildings in their compound. I was in building 5. The room was clean with internet and cable so I was a happy camper.

Continued . . .

Then it came time to eat- I really went wild the whole week indulging in Chinese Buffet food, Pollo Tropical (Latino KFC- don’t ask my stomach still hurts), Taco Bell, and CiCi’s Pizza (a pizza buffet).

The flea markets were obviously the most interesting part of the trip. I went to Daytona Beach which was voted one of the top 5 in the country but they had only new things much of it NASCAR. SCARY. The next day I went to Tampa, and the following to St. Petersburg, and then to Clearwater, and on and on. I have never seen so many red necks- more so than even Indiana. I saw confederate flags, gator meat for sale, livestock for sale, guns and ammunition (I kid you not this is legal in Florida), and some really incredible antiques. I found some interesting photos and other items but I yearned for Chicago every night I sat there alone wondering what the hell I was doing in Orlando. Chicago might be challenging, Chicago might be frustrating but miserable??? I think not. After 6 day in Orlando Hell I am so happy to be back to the city I love with the friends I cherish.

What’s the line to that cheesy Chicago song?? “Chicago, Chicago, it’s my kind of town?” Oh and by the way, I almost had my teeth Zoomed at the flea Market in Mt. Dora, FL. I know- it’s so trashy but it was only 75 bucks. I didn’t do it because I wondered  if they were even real dentists.

I LOVE YOU CHICAGO.

We love you too Albert, but don’t be so hard on Indiana.

Our three governors?

This little cutie-pie is our very own Albert

From Albert's WWII set

Mom?

Looking sharp Blago!